Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Guilt Pangs

Do you feel guilt pangs when you leave home for work/errands/gym/yoga and baby cries out for you like its doomsday? It breaks my heart whenever Santi screams for mommy not wanting to let go :_(

But each time I kiss him goodbye and make a promise to be home after an hour or 2. When I do get home, I greet my smiling baby boy (who is so glad mama is home), breastfeed...and then everything is alright again. His world is, yet again, safe and complete. 

I think in a few more months Santi will get used to the idea that 'mommy needs to go places where kids don't go but she will always come back home for me.' I feel that these are starting days of his independence...he will come to realize that he is his own person. (yet he will always feel connected to me as I am to him...mother & child bond thing with the invisible umbilical cord)

Rambling now. 


blissful COW said...

Don't you just hate that when your baby starts bawling that way? It will break my heart too. I wonder what happens after you leave? Have you ever asked the helper or whoever will take care of him next of how Santi behaves after you leave? One time long ago I saw this mom experiment with her son of how he reacts when he knows that she will leave. She hid for a few minutes just waiting to see how long his episode will last. As soon as the child saw that his Mom was no longer there, the child completely stopped and went on playing with his toys. He didn't even mind the yaya. I can't say this happened to me with Luis or if it did, I don't remember. The yaya would just distract him and all was well after. I do remember always telling Luis that I would be back and not to worry, he wasn't a fussy baby really, I could leave him in the crib or playpen with ease.He would even hum himself to sleep. =)

ella said...

Aw:-( I still feel guilty even now that Ryan is now 4. I think that feeling will never go away, it comes with falling in love with your child.

SASSY MOM said...

Ahhh... enjoy the moments. My kids are quite big now.

When I go out, I feel that they're happy to see me go -- especially my teenager. But still, they question everything that you do - like an inspector.

Charice said...

I know! It makes me sad when sometimes, I go to work and my baby cries..

Anyway, Happy New Year to both of you and your baby! :)


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