Friday, January 23, 2009

Dharma Dreams BIG

This post is hugely inspired by my mom who would always tell us to FOLLOW OUR DREAMS.
It is also dedicated to my husband M who, like a genie in a bottle, is helping me make my dreams come true!

If you look back at what I wrote last July 4, 2007 - ( you will understand that I am being true to my name, my life's calling. 

In April, I will finally do what my heart desires! I will be attending a 25-hour yoga course on POST NATAL Teacher Training in KL, Malaysia. It's module 2 of a 100-hour Yoga for Pregnancy, Birth and Beyond. ( That's just the tip of the ice, darlings! In May 4-30, there is a Ashtanga and Iyengar teacher training in Boracay ( and M has agreed to fund me, come along and take care of Santi while I train during the day. Weeeee! 

2009 is so SUPER because this year I intend to spread my wings and finally FLY! I don't know what hit us, some retrograde or what but M and I have this mantra of chasing our dreams no matter how big. Why waste time when we only have THIS ONE LIFETIME to fulfill our destiny? So we better make the most out of it! By the way, he is also in the brink of something BIG but I will save that for another post.

Just 2 days ago I had a melt down because I wanted to do this career path so badly but thought I couldn't because I am still breastfeeding my almost 2 year old son. Now that I look back, it was just major PMS. I told M so many disturbing things like:

 'Do you think our lives was put on hold because we had a child?', 'Am I being selfish to want to stop breastfeeding and go take time to do what I want/need to do?, 'Should I say goodbye to this yearning because I am now a mom and should prioritize Santi?', 'I am feeling so guilty for wanting to do this and fear that Santi might get traumatized because I wont be there when he wants to breastfeed'.
 M, being the fab hubby that he is assured me what a wonderful mom I am for being so hands on and breastfeeding til now. He reminded me that the path I chose in parenting is the road less traveled and yet more rewarding because our son is so close to us right now. You should see him hug and kiss us several times a day!

So, after much thought, I decided to go for it. Santi will be tagging along with me in my KL trip (thanks to my parents who will watch him while I am gone during the day) and I am slowly weaning him from day feeds for the May training. M has agreed to take a leave from work to be able to take care of Santi who is turning 2 on May 9 so perfect timing because 'Breastfeeding is best up to 2 years' :)

There was a time that I thought being a good mom meant staying at home 24/7. Now I have come to terms with the fact that empowered women/moms CAN also do more and FLY. I have always said that I have respect for mothers that work (because it breaks their hearts to leave their babies behind) but now I really mean it. Because I will be doing that very same thing I vowed not to do, work/train away from home. Being a mom should NOT stop me from doing what I want to do, becoming who I was meant to be. Sure, I may have to sacrifice at first, prioritize... but I can still compromise and work around my schedule.  Motherhood shouldn't hinder me from passions, dreams, goals. In fact, I am defined MORE because despite having to be fully responsible for another dependent human being, I can STILL be able to accomplish more. 

Mothers are excellent multi-taskers and achievers! I should be able to find strength and inspiration from so many loving moms who are also great doctors, teachers, presidents, etc! 

The evolution of my life amazes me. I am definitely growing more and more as an individual with my family and friends supporting me in this journey. Cheers to another chapter in my life. At age 26, my light comes out to shine :)


christine said...

congratulations yummum!:) - christine (cj's mom)

Dinx said...

Congratulations mons! so happy for you. We should always go for it.. God who created everything, will provide the means step by step.

It's up to us to decide to go for it, and take the first step even if the rest of the staircase is still in darkness. But the way I see it you have a very bright way ahead and I'm glad M is supporting you 'make it happen' =)

blissful COW said...

Go for it Mon!! I know the feeling of putting your dreams on hold. The outcome may not be the same, but the mere fact that you are going for it is just the same. You are lucky that you have M on your side ever so encouraging and supportive. You are lucky too that your parents are behind you all the way. My chances in life have passed me by, my dreams may or may not have come true, but I don't regret a thing for in all of this, nothing will ever be better than Luis. What he has given me and the kind of boy/man that he is turning out to be. I am so proud of you Monica. Never think that you are being selfish. You are a great mom, a great wife, a great daughter, sister, and friend to all.

Camille said...

Hey Mon, this post is so inspiring!! We share a similar parenting style so i can totally relate to the dilemma of doing something for yourself without feeling awful/guilty/selfish. I have put my life "on hold" for my child as well, and i admit i am still mustering up the courage to press that PLAY button once again. I truly admire your spirit, and i believe it is what makes you such a wonderful mom. =) Congratulations and good luck dear!


ella said...


Jarminator said...

hello monica! nakaka inspire ka naman. i also quit my job as an engineer to be a full time mom. i agree, we also need our career and a life to become better moms to our kids, but for now i think i'd better concentrate muna on my son, since baby pa sya. when he's old enough like Santi, maybe Mommy can go back to work na.

thanks for inspiring us all the time!

Jaymie said...

Very well said, Monica. Santi is blessed to have a mom like you who cares for him without forgetting to care for herself as well. Best of luck to you and in your exciting new journey. :)

Topaz Horizon said...

I have huge respect for stay-at-home moms but I think I'll be a working woman for as long as I live! I love my work so much that I know if I stopped working, a big part of me will die and I just don't think my children will want to be with a person half-dead.

My mom worked and it was important for me to see her not just as mine, my mother. She was also a boss (so if people respect her, I must, too!). She gave so much of her life to others--in church, our neighborhood, our relatives, her friends. Of course that meant I didn't see her as much as I wanted, but when she died, and almost a thousand people came to her wake, well... I'm glad she wasn't mine alone =D

Jane said...

Hi! I have also "put my life on hold" to take care of my son. And I have no regrets whatsoever. Babies will be babies for only a short amount of time, and I want to enjoy the moment while it lasts.

I applaud you for putting your son's needs before your own. Now that he's older, you're finally chasing after your dream -- that takes guts, and I admire you for that.

LotusHaus said...

Wow, so inspiring! As an "overachiever" now that my baby is 6 weeks I am already really asking myself similar questions on what direction I want to take with my new mommy status and still earn money and be creative... it is quite a challenge. Thanks for the inspiration! I will be following your journey =)


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