I've been having piercing pains in my stomach for about a month now and only yesterday did I muster the courage to go see a doctor. We went to see Dr. Crickette, for Santi's monthly check up. While wrapping up, I asked her natural remedies for my suspected hyperacidity or maybe even ulcers. She suggested that I follow the alkaline diet and that I could get a copy of this from her husband's clinic at 1609, only a few floors below hers at Medical Plaza.
We enter the Life Force clinic.
And I had the strangest feeling that this visit would forever have an impact on my whole life. Oh boy, was I right.
Dr. Crickette's husband, Dr. Nigel, specializes in advanced medicine and life support systems. I asked the secretary for a copy of the alkaline/acid dietary chart. Upon hearing that a patient was in the room, a tall Chinese looking man opened the black curtain division and approached me.
"Would you want to know where your chronic pain is coming from?" asks Nigel. "We could scan you", he adds.
"Urhmmm how long will it take?" I ask knowing that M, who was right behind me, will not want to wait.
"About 5 to 10 minutes" Nigel replies.
I willingly tried the Laser Life Scan (P2,995) which was pain-free. No pricking from needles..thank god! His assistant probed some laser on my hand and feet meridian points, sent some data to the U.S. for computer diagnosis and back again to us.
"No human interpretation therefore no human error", Nigel is proud to say.
And so came out my printed form of all things wrong with my personal DNA from the day I was born to my current state. I won't bore you with a detailed version of my not-so-healthy report. I will, however, vent about the alarming high- or shall I call them lowlights:
1. I have a cyst (again!) on my remaining ovary. -Shit. Not again! A few years back, 1 of my ovaries was removed through surgery because of a huge tumor that was found. It had teeth and hair. Too darn gross. Not too fond of that gruesome experience because it sure felt like a CS operation but no baby at the end.
2. Liver and kidney are not in tip-top shape. -Oh bummer. All that junk had to go somewhere.
3. I have lazy small intestines. -So, that's why I'm so constipated!
4. Low energy levels at 19% -Duh, aren't all hands-on mothers this exhausted?
If you were there to listen to him read and analyze my chart, I look like a person in doom. Ok, I am exaggerating but if I keep binging on chocolates (shuckers my only vice), not enough water (apparently), no form of exercise (and I thought raising a baby was enough!) and stressing myself out (eeep!) --- I will not be a healthy happy mum to experience life with Sancho. Sad, right?
A lifestyle change is the answer! Yoga and gym...Sign me up again!
Some life-saving stuff I learned from Doc Nigel:
1. Throw out the microwave! Heating your food or water can kill you! Did you know that when you heat vegetables in the microwave, they turn into free radicals or cancerous cells in your system?! Also, if you heat water and use it to water your plants...they will eventually die. YIKES. I have used the microwave all throughout my growing years, to heat my water for powdered coffee (which is bad by the way!), to heat my left-over food (also bad), and even to cook my turkey-bacon (bad! bad! bad!) I have indeed corrupted my body.
2. Never eat pork. In other countries, pigs are corn fed. In the Philippines, kanin baboy or trash is what is given. Pig eats trash, you eat pig= you eat trash. He even made this statement: It's even better to take heroin for a whole month. If you eat pork everyday for 1 month, you will surely die. If you take herion, you will still be alive! I was so annoyed at M because after this long speech about pork being so bad for you, he still chose to eat cripsy pata for dinner..WTF?!
3. Do not use Zonrox, laundry detergent or any of those commercially formulated home cleaners that have harmful ingredients. This article states how dangerous they are especially for babies who are mostly on the floor and put everything in their mouths. I found this site which lists safe and even cheaper alternatives.
4. Sleep early! There was an email circulating about why we should. I don't want to repeat. Too lazy to type as well. If you wanna know why, Google it.
5. Drink Alkaline water. Check! M bought this earlier today for me at the Living Water station on Wilson St. P60 per 5 Gallon of alkaline oxygenated water to quench my thirst and feed my cells much needed oxygen.
Other benefits of alkaline water are:
a. reverse aging process
b. lowers blood pressure
c. increase energy -yeah babeeh! I need this!
d. prevents and cures dengue
e. natural anti-oxidant
f. eliminates toxins and acidic wastes -for all you MSGed people
g. improves diabetes, migraines, athritis and chronic constipation -go healthy go!
Woohoo, placebo effect taking toll. Here I am feeling much healthier already... gulping my oxygenated-alkaline 'living water' that tastes like the flowing river (not kidding).
Other things I am now going to religiously take (as prescribed by Dr. Nigel):
1. VCO -the healthiest oil on earth!
2. B complex -promotes healthy nerves
3. Capsicum -food for the circulatory system
4. Seaweed -all minerals found here
More things said by 'Nigel':
1. He recommends every couple should get laid at least once a week to avoid prostate cancer.
2. Smoking grass is ok. All natural...don't panic it's organic!
It's 9:20pm and I must wrap this up because I shall retire for my health's sake. And I want to be a happy healthy yummy mummy to Santiwanty. As Dr. Nigel says, 'May the force be with you!'
*M thinks Nigel believes he is Luke Sky Walker. 'Life Force clinic, laser scans, etc...oh and he wears boots.
Life Force Clinic for Advanced Medicine & Life Support Systems
Suite 1609 Medical Plaza, Makati