Friday, December 14, 2007

Our Mothers, Our Senses

As much as I love the title of this entry, I have to say that I stole it from one of the members of the TCC (The Continuum Concept) email group.

This woman/mother named Tara went on to ramble about "Our Mothers, Our Senses," because she believes that it is so much about how the way our parents nurtured us (or not so much) affects the person we become, how we perceive the world, and how much stimulation we even can get -- can notice or receive or intake from life -- and, I think, how it shapes the relationships we now have with our mothers as adults with kids of our own.
I cannot agree with her more. To me, she said it in the best words. Since becoming a mother myself, I took another journey into my own childhood - on how my own mother raised me. If it didn't bother me before, it suddenly bugs me now that I wasn't breastfed -my mum claims that me and my siblings were for 3 months but then we started biting so she stopped?! This might be a lie because I have been bfeeding Santipants for 7 months now and only recently he started nibbling on my nips...but even this should not stop me from nourishing him with my milk :P

If I wasn't such an easy baby, I am almost sure that I would have been left to 'cry it out'. I know this for a fact because when I left Santi with her for a few hours before, she confided to M that when Santi started to cry, she just left him on the bed until he stopped (this is the reason why I never left Santi with her again!) I remember once, as a toddler, my mum did pull out the belt on me when I went on a brat attack insisting to wear my ballerina shoes to the mall. (something I will never ever do to Santi even if he pulls something very naughty) With co-sleeping -I believe that I had my own crib and was always on my stroller. I have tons of photos of little me sitting in my stroller or baby seat. My parents always tell stories about how 'good' I was, never complaining nor crying...just sitting content in my stroller and falling asleep on my own. (almost opposite of my darling, Santi! hehe)

In hindsight, however, I was my parents first child together (they each had their own before me) and I can say that they loved me to bits. But this is the best love and; parenting they knew they could give. I think, if they were aware of attachment parenting 25 years ago, things would have been different. Now, I wonder how their own parents raised them?

My parents now watch me 'mother my own baby' and it might be difficult for them to see me do things differently, (I have criticized my own mum's opinions about her beliefs of carrying my baby too much in fear of spoiling, bottle feeding, the use of strollers, and my dad's knowledge of 'crying is good for a baby's lungs' pure nonsense, I said to him! ) but this is all part of their own journey as grandparents - re-learning parenting through me.

And the story will Santi will father his own children in the future? How will M and I be as grandparents? Eep. Time holds many adventures yet to be discovered! For now, I will hold Santi close to my heart and wish for the best for him and all the generations to come.

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